


when we were young

by stufferknee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Oral Sex, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Separations, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:00:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26097520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stufferknee/pseuds/stufferknee
Summary: Remus Lupin walked out of your life after tragedy only to walk right back into it unexpectedly. Seeing him stirs up feelings you'd pushed down, memories of when you were young.
Relationships: Pomona Sprout & Reader, Pomona Sprout & You, Remus Lupin/Reader, Remus Lupin/You, Severus Snape & Reader, Severus Snape & You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	when we were young

Music spilt out into the corridor, something soft and classical that no doubt Professor Flitwick had put on. The annual faculty mixer was something you’d grown to look forward to, a chance to meet new additions before the school year started. It was early August, wearing a simple blue dress as the clicking of your heels echoed down the corridor. You could see the light pooling from the cracked door, anticipating quite a few professors would be tipsy already. There’d been a hold-up with Hagrid and the lesson plan for Care of Magical Creatures this year and you were nearly two hours late. You’d offered Hagrid your help early on, excited to see him take on the role. As you neared the door, a figure passed through, their eyes studying your figure.

“I never recognize you when you decide to look like a proper lady, (Y/n),” Severus said, purposely antagonizing you.

“Aren’t you the charmer as always, Severus. Leaving early?” You stopped just in front of him, noting he seemed tense about something.

“The atmosphere was less than inviting… Brace yourself.” He gave you a knowing stare, one that had a chill rippling down your spine as he turned the corner.

Why would you need to brace yourself? How was the atmosphere so tense for Severus? These mixers were always quite enjoyable, you’d even managed to pull a few laughs from the stiff bastard in past years. Pushing the door further open, you stepped into the room as Pomona Sprout grabbed your arm.

“Oh, there she is! Fashionably late, this one, but Remus you must remember her from your school years? One of our proud former Hufflepuffs.” Sprout was beaming as she gestured towards the man in front of her. The words slipped away as you focused on his face. Remus Lupin.

_The only sounds echoing through the common room were the clinking of a bottle and the crackling of the fireplace. Two figures huddled in front of it, passing a bottle of firewhiskey between them as they watched the flames dance._

_“So, a werewolf.” Your breath hitched a bit, eyes clamping shut as images of Remus transforming flashed in front of your eyes. Stumbling upon him transforming was not the act you were expecting to interrupt, you’d expected to find him slipping away to meet a girl._

_“A werewolf,” Remus confirmed, hugging his knees to his chest. The firewhiskey dulled the aching in his muscles and the stinging of fresh cuts, leaving him nearly numb._

_“That’s only mildly terrifying,” you joked, turning to look at Remus as he stared straight ahead, the flames reflecting in his eyes. “Remus,” you said softly, passing him the bottle._

_“Just get it over with,” Remus choked out, grabbing the bottle and downing a good portion of it. “Rip my heart out, just do it.”_

_“I’m pretty sure that’s how you kill a vampire love, not a werewolf,” you smiled as you scooted closer to him, sitting flush against him. He winced at the close proximity, you could feel him pull away a bit._

_“Cut the jokes, please. I know you’re going to end this so just end it. Let me down easy, please.” His head turned, tears pooled in his eyes as he shook his head. “Please.”_

_“Remus Lupin I’m not breaking up with you because you’re a werewolf, you bloody idiot. Who do you think I am?” you shook your head as you reached out for him. Wiping the tears that slipped down his cheeks, you pulled him down into your arms._

_Nearly melting into your touch, Remus buried himself against you, muffling his sobs against your sweater. Your fingers raked across his scalp, rubbing small circles on his back as you tried your best to calm him. He laid in your arms for a while, relishing in the warmth of your embrace._

_“Rem, it was terrifying, I won’t lie. But I’m not leaving you over it, we’re going to handle it, together.” You tilted his head upwards, catching his lips in a soft kiss. “I love you.”_

_“I love you.”_

“Uh… excuse me,” you mumbled, pulling away from Sprout’s grasp as you stumbled away from the two of them. So that’s what you needed to brace yourself for, Severus wasn’t kidding about the atmosphere.

You managed to avoid Remus for the majority of the mixer, talking to other Professors as your eyes flickered to him. Trying to avoid the conversations involving the newest professor, you darted between groups. He looked good, aged and tired but good. Trailing your gaze to his hands, you noted the absence of a wedding ring. Listening to him laugh and watching him smile reopened the old wounds, the familiar pain radiating through you that had you stumbling towards the drinks table looking for relief.

Grabbing a cup and filling it nearly half full of firewhiskey, you downed a good portion of it, coughing slightly at the burn. Shaking your head, you felt a hand on your shoulder, the same electricity rippling down from it after all these years. Your eyes shut as your empty fist clenched in response, trying to calm yourself. You brought the cup to your lips and downed the rest of the drink. 

“Go away, Remus,” you coughed out, turning to face him after all these years. His same sandy brown hair, greying slightly now. A few new scars littered his face, but his eyes… The same eyes you’d stared into so many times. His lips were the same lips you’d kissed a thousand times, recalling how they felt against every curve and dip of your body. 

“Please,” Remus breathed. Your breath hitched at the sound of it, the same pained tone he’d had all those years ago. “Please just talk to me.”

“Why are you here? I thought you left. I thought you were in America.” Your eyes studied his, still able to read him like a book. New pain lingered in them, regret seeping through as his hand moved down your arm, taking your hand. 

“I came back. Dumbledore offered me the Defence Against the Dark Arts job and I accepted it,” he answered, squeezing your hand a bit as the shocks rippled through you. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Of course you didn’t, you don’t know anything about me Remus,” you scoffed, pulling your hand from his. “You lost the right to that when you walked out the door.”

_The rain fell in sheets outside and the storm raging inside of you matched the madness outside. The thin blanket tucked around you wasn’t enough to keep the chill from settling into your bones, sitting in the near darkness. A few candles lit the small cottage as you stared off, lost in a different world. The rattling of the door broke your trance as your eyes flickered to Remus stumbling inside._

_“Power’s out,” you said softly, focusing back on nothing in particular. “There’s some dinner there for you.”_

_Remus didn’t answer, simply moved towards the kitchen as you sighed, pulling the blanket tighter. Climbing from the couch, you followed him to the kitchen, leaning against the counter. He grabbed the food you’d left for him, unwrapping it as he turned to face you. Few words were spoken to you these days, it seemed as though it was only your voice echoing through the halls anymore._

_“It’s not working, is it? This?” you asked with a heavy heart, gesturing between you. You couldn’t hold it in anymore, you had to be blunt._

_It had been six months since James and Lily’s deaths, since Sirius was sent away, since your lives came tumbling down. You’d done your best to support him through it but there was only so much you could do. Remus pulled away, stopped confiding in you, almost acted as though you didn’t exist half the time. Every unanswered question felt like a needle to your heart and you desperately needed relief from the constant agony._

_“It’s not your fault,” Remus answered, staring down at the food. “I need some time.”_

_“Time…” you repeated, trying to swallow the words as you stared at the floor. “How long?”_

_“I don’t know, just time and space. I’m sorry.” He set the plate down, still avoiding your eyes as he passed through the cottage, moving towards the room. You didn’t need to follow him, you knew he was packing his things. He reappeared in no time at all, carrying a suitcase._

_“Where will you go?” you croaked out, hugging your arms to your chest._

_“America, maybe. I need a change, I can’t keep living here, surrounded by the memories of them.” His eyes still avoided yours, looking past you instead. The action hurt more than anything, the fact that he could break your heart without even seeing the damage he caused._

_“And what about me? What am I supposed to bloody do?” Your voice shook as you turned away from him, trying to push back the tears threatening your eyes. “What about what I need?”_

_“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, faintly this time. You heard the door open and shut and the faint crack of apparation. He had truly left, Remus was gone. Your tears came hard and fast, sobs ripping from your chest as you fell to the floor, the last part of your heart shattered in little pieces as Remus walked away without looking back._

”Give me five minutes of your time, love. I’ll get on my knees and beg you if I have to,” he argued, reaching for your hand again. “Please, give me five minutes. If you still wish to hate me afterwards then I’ll leave you alone. But at least give me a chance, (Y/n).”

“Fine, five minutes. But not here, come on.” You pulled Remus from the room, your heels echoing off the stone once again as you led him towards your quarters. Closing the door after him, you moved across the room to your bed, sitting on the end. “Your five minutes starts now.”

“I was a bloody idiot, a daft fool, an idiotic bastard. Whatever you want to call me, I accept it. I shouldn’t have left, I shouldn’t have pushed you away. It’s my biggest regret,” he admitted quickly, the words tumbling fast from his lips. He took a step towards you, a regretful look on his face. 

“I needed you, you weren’t the only one suffering. They were my family too, Remus, and I was hurting as well,” you scowled, guilt panging through you as his eyes met yours. 

“I know, it was selfish of me, the worst thing I’ve ever done. I know you don’t owe me forgiveness, or even to accept my apology, but I’m sorry. I’m so sorry and I reckon you hate me and never want to see me again and I’ll go if you ask me to but you need to know. I’ve regretted that night every day since.” Remus hastily wiped at the tears that slid down his cheeks, watching you pick at your bedspread as you mulled over his words.

“I don’t hate you,” you admitted, biting your bottom lip. “I tried to, thought it would make it easier but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t move on, not really.” You gave him a soft, sympathetic smile, raising your hand towards him. “Everything reminds me of you, of us.”

“I know the feeling,” Remus answered with a pained chuckle, taking another step towards you. “It felt like you followed me, I couldn’t get away from you. I should have come back sooner, I should have begged your forgiveness years ago.”

“You should have, Remus. Why didn’t you?” You clenched your fist a little, some of the anger still coursing through your veins.

“You deserved better. Someone who wouldn’t walk out on you when you needed him most. Someone who was worthy of your love.“ Remus dropped his gaze, focusing on the floor as you shook your head.

"You were always worthy of my love, Remus. You’re worthy of love, period.” Remus met your gaze again as you chuckled. “You never could get your head out of your ass long enough to see you were enough. You’ve always been enough for me." 

"I’m sorry, love. I’ll scream it from the Astronomy Tower until I’m blue in the face if you want me to, whatever it takes for you to know that I’m sincere.” Remus took another step towards you, your breath hitching the closer he got. 

You should be angry, you should be screaming and refusing his apology, sending him out of your room without a second thought. Instead, your heart ached for him. You’d gladly reach in your chest and rip it out to lay it at his feet. He was broken just like you, shatter patterns on his heart mirroring your own as he stood in front of you. It was as though you were young again, standing across from each other in your home, waiting for him to scoop you into his arms. Your eyes danced across him, taking in every inch of him, remembering the way his skin felt under your fingertips. 

“You look good, Remus.” The smile spread on your face, pain lingering beneath it but you couldn’t push down the hope, the desire to hold him once again. 

He took a few more steps towards you, clasping your hand in his. “You’re somehow even more beautiful than I remember, my heart stopped when Professor Sprout hauled you over.”

“I thought I was seeing a ghost,” you admitted, biting your lip slightly. You didn’t miss the way his eyes darted to them as you did. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled again, eyes still fixed on your lips as his hand squeezed yours. 

“Just kiss me already,” you muttered, standing from the bed as you pulled Remus closer. 

His lips crashed against yours, his hands finding their familiar place on your waist. The anger, the agony, and the questions could wait. For now, you needed to remember what it felt like to hold him in your arms, what it felt like to lose yourself in his kiss. His teeth grazed your bottom lip, groaning as they parted to deepen the kiss. His fingers dug into your waist, desperate as his lips trailed from your mouth to your neck. Open-mouthed kisses pressed against the skin, biting down on the sweet spot he remembered after all these years. Pushing you back towards the bed, your fingers worked at his tie, tossing it away as you started on the buttons to his shirt. 

Shrugging it off and to the floor, his hands snaked behind you, pulling down the zipper on your dress. The straps fell from your shoulders, slipping down as the material pooled at your feet. Remus let his eyes trail your body, groaning at the sight he’d missed all these years. Reaching for you, his hands ran up your sides and across your chest and bra. Your skin was still soft, your sighs the same as they slipped from your mouth. Quickly pulling you back into a kiss, Remus pressed himself against you as he backed you further towards your bed. 

“We can stop,” he panted, breaking the kiss to study your eyes. “We don’t have to go any further.”

“I need this,” you mumbled, fumbling with his belt. “I need you, Remus.”

That was all it took, his fingers unclasping your bra as you unwound his belt, fumbling for the button of his pants. His lips were on your chest in a second, kissing down your collarbone until his mouth found your nipple. Flicking his tongue across it before nibbling lightly, your groans only fuelled him further. He rolled the other through his fingers, your legs shaking at the feeling of his touch. Falling back onto the bed, you scooted backwards, Remus following you, kneeling between your legs. His hands trailed up them, lips following as he kissed up your thighs. They danced along the skin, nipping and smirking at the hitching of your breath, the feeling of your fingers tugging on his hair. He still knew exactly how to make you crumble in his hands, all of the spots that had you calling his name in that breathy voice he adored so much.

“Remus,” you whined, his lips moving to the other thigh, only grazing where you craved him most. “Please,” you begged, your hips bucking as he chuckled against you.

“Anything for you,” he breathed, fingers slipping underneath the band of your panties, tugging them off as he tossed them to the floor. Your legs spread again for him, his groans at the sight of you dripping for him only deepening the need you felt. You could see his hips bucking against the bed as he swiped his tongue along your folds, groaning at the taste. The vibrations sent shockwaves rippling through you, grasping the sheets in one hand and Remus’s hair in the other. His tongue flicked against your clit, circling it before his mouth connected, the moans slipping out the sweetest song he’d ever heard. 

He pushed a finger, and then a second into you, curving them upwards as your hips bucked against his hand. Hitting the spot he knew would send you over the edge, your legs shook as he worked them faster, his tongue circling your clit.

“Fuck, Remus…” you moaned out, tugging at his hair as he groaned against you, the vibrations tipping you closer. He only sped up, the high crashing down on you as you fell apart around him, pulling out his fingers as you came down. 

Wasting no time, he kicked out of the rest of his clothes, moving on top of you as his lips found yours again. Wrapping your legs around him, he lined himself up and slowly pushed into you. Remus moaned deeply at the feeling of you clenched around him, perfectly filling you as his lips found your neck. Leaving behind a trail of purple marks, his hips snapped against yours, picking up the pace as your moans grew louder. Lost in the feeling of his lips on your neck, his cock buried so deep inside of you, your eyes fluttered shut as your nails scraped his back. 

His thumb found your clit, rubbing circles on it as his thrusts grew rougher, his own release nearing. You were tumbling towards your second, gasping and groaning at his relentless pace. Your second orgasm hit hard, Remus thrusting through it as you screamed his name, nails dug into his skin. Growing sloppy, his hips snapped a few more times against yours as he came from the sensation of you tightening around him, lips finding yours once more.

“Remus,” you mumbled as he pulled away, pulling out and collapsing beside you. “Stay.”

“Are you sure?” His chest heaved as you rolled towards him, nestling into his side. 

Pressing a featherlight kiss against his chest, you looked up to smile softly. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

His eyes shut as he lay against the pillow, chest rising and falling as you studied his body. Every dimple and scar, the definition of his chest, his stomach. His strong arms that still made you feel safe after all of this time. Your eyes scanned along his jaw, his cheeks, memorizing every inch of him, tucking photographs away just in case.

“Love, what are you doing,” Remus opened his eyes, watching as your eyes flickered across his features.

“Keeping photographs of you, in case this is the last time I see you this way,” you admitted, feeling the familiar dread seeping back into your veins. 

“It won’t be,” Remus said, softer than before. “I care about you, I’ve never stopped. And I know I’ve done nothing to show that but I will, I’ll show you every day from here on out.” He turned on his side, cupping your face in his hand. 

“Start by staying tonight. If you stay tonight, we can talk.” You smiled as he pulled you in for a kiss, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’ll stay for as long as you’ll have me.” Remus gave you one last kiss, pulling you against his chest as he sighed. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Rem.” You buried your face against him, relishing in the warmth and comfort of his embrace that you’d gone so long without. The chill that settled in your bones all those years ago finally melted away leaving behind a reignited spark.

**Author's Note:**

> All of my work is posted at www.firewhisky-kisses.tumblr.com ♥


End file.
